She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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