you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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