I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
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