I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Alive.
So much puke
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
