so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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