If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
