My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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