Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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