grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The ass gains better be worth it
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