Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
