Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
