OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I think a kid would responsible me up
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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