talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
