So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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