i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
