Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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