someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
