This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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