May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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