Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
