Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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