kristin has been a bad kristin
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
