i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
