They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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