i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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