but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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