I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
No I am not eating basil off your cock
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
