he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
