Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
