Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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