Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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