we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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