if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
