I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
