I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
