Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I have tasted many bathrooms
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
