can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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