Non-Jews are for practice
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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