I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
