i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
