Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
