I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
