so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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