You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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