I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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