This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I have feelings that need drinking.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize