You can't motorboat a personality
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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