he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
