Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
