Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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