I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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