i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
