i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize