Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
