Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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