You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
