you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
