I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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