dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
