sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Randomize
