Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
