Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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