ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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