at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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