Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
