my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
