I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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