That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
