but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
