a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
