Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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