Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
