That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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